Freedom
by abetternameneeded
Summary: Alice's first taste of freedom turns out to be a bit overwheming. T because of some mild angst.


Alice Jones stared at the stars outside her window through a spyglass. She started talking to the toys that were waiting for one of their tea parties. She told them it was her birthday. She offered them cake, although she knew they couldn't eat it. It was all pretend. But she was just so lonely. So she pretended they were real, gave them their own voices. Hatter sounded a bit like papa, she missed him. But she wasn't going to think about that right now. No. It was her birthday. She needed to try to have a happy one. Or as happy of one as she could given that she was so alone and so trapped. She sat and had her tea party, talking to Hatter and Mr. Rabbit the entire time. She hadn't spoken to another pesrn in so long. She missed hearing someone else's voice. She was oh so very alone. And she was trapped. She had tried to wish her way out of her prison so many times. Tried to force her way out a few times as well. None of it worked. Sometimes she thought she'd never find a way out and she'd scream wishing that someone could hear her. Papa had always made her feel better but he had been gone for so long. And her tower was so far away from anyone. No one could find her. Only two people even knew she was here and the other she didn't much fancy seeing again. She had taken away the only company Alice had ever had. The only person she had ever known. And Alice didn't understand why but she didn't dwell on it. She'd distract herself as best as she could.

She continued talking to her toys and then blew out her candle on the cupcake she had made, she'd gotten better at cooking over the years and this was almost as good as the one's papa used to make. Almost. Something was missing. Maybe it was her sitting and talking to him while he cooked. Maybe it was an ingredient she had forgotten. But something was always missing. The wish didn't do anything at first. And she resigned herself to another year sitting alone in this building. Starting outside wanting to be free. Gods she wanted to be free. At least when papa had been here he could bring the world into her tower but now? She couldn't do that. And if she could then she wouldn't need to, anyway. And then the room started to shake. She took cover as best as she could but there wasn't really that many places she could hide. And now the roof of her already not ideal home was missing. She wasn't sure how that would ever be fixed. It wasn't as if she could go outside to inspect the damages or anything. She'd just have to live with it. At least she'd get to feel rain the next time it rained. She'd always wanted to do that but it never happened.

She looked up and recgonized the creature as a troll, papa had taught her about what some of the world's creatures looked like. And this one seemed nice enough. She greeted him and climbed into his outstretched hand. She couldn't leave the tower but she could be nice. And then she could leave. She didn't fully remeber how. Or understand it but eventually the troll sat her and some of her things on the ground. She glanced back at the tower, what would she do now?

And what was that feeling hitting her arm? It felt like….Alice had no idea how to describe what it was. What did it feel like? She'd never felt anything like this before. Maybe when she'd blown out her candles? But she'd never felt that against her. But it moved her hair around and tickled her skin. But it wasn't that strong of a tickle, she didn't even let out a small laugh. What was it? It was causing her hair to try to land in front of her face. It didn't bother her but it felt so different than anything she was used to. What was it? She wished papa was here, he'd be able to tell her.

And then something , or quite really a blur of somthing, darted passed her. And the grass moved too. She had never seen the grass this close. She knew what it was, Papa had brought her some but that was different than when it was on the ground. The ground! She was touching the ground! Or close to it. She wondered if the blades of grass felt different down here. She ran her hand along it.

"Hello, grass" Alice let out along with a burst of laughter. She could touch the grass! And she could get as close to it as she wanted! There was nothing stopping her from doing it anymore. But everything seemed so strange. So much bigger up close than it had when she'd watched from the window.

Yeah, they defintley felt bigger, more together. She wasn't sure. But it felt so different than it had when papa would bring her a few in vials. Everything was different. And so so big. She'd never had this much space. What was she supposed to do with it? It was a lot. More than Alice was prepared for. But it was fine. She wanted to explore more.

The trees! The trees were so much bigger than she had thought. She wanted to climb one. She always had but that wasn't very possible before now. But now she could! And she was going to. But not here. Not right now. She needed to leave. She shouldn't stay so close to here. It wasn't it was, she didn't know. But if she styed would the tower try to get her to stay trapped again? She had some of papa's old maps, from his pirate days. But she didn't know where she wanted to go. Just away. Away from this prison. Away frm home. Oh how could a place both be her home and her prison. She was still alone, papa still couldn't come near her. But she needed to leave. And tso she did. Glacing back every so often at the prison she was leaving behind her. She was…was she really free? Could she reallly go anywhere? Anywhere she wanted? The world was so much bigger than she'd expected. She knew it was big but it felt so strange to walk and actually wind up in a different place. She'd never done this before. Usually she could walk as long as she wanted and still wind up back exactly where she started. Sometimes she'd pace around the entire tower what felt like hundreds of times just to clear her head but she never knew how much or how little she walked, she never got anywhere new any way. And so she kept walking. How far was it until she was far enough away? She wasn't sure. She had only seen trees and stars and a few animals the entire walk. And she was starting to get tired. Why was she this tired? She had slept well the night before and she never slept two days in a row. Ever! She hadn't since papa left. The quiet scared her and the sounds woke her up. She kept walking but it got too much. She needed to sleep. She found a place that seemed to work and got some rest. She didn't sleep long. But she got some sleep. And once she woke up she felt rested enough to try and climb the tree. She laughed the entire time, she had always wanted to do this. She wished she could show papa, he'd be happy for her. She missed him. That's what she'd do! The witch had poisoned him so she'd unpoison him. She'd find a cure. She could go anywhere now! She could go look for a cure!

And she found her way to the nearest town. That's what it was called, right? A place where lots of people lived and there were different businesses? A town. That was right. She wondered if any of them would talk to her. She'd ask the first person she saw for help, she thought. And then she walked into the town. And she heard so much noise. Whaat was that sound? It sounded weird. She'd never heard such a thing. What was it? It was so so so loud. Woah she wasn't ready for this. What did she do? Or what should she do? This was a bloody lot. She'd never seen so many people. And what was that sound? Why was it so loud? She didn't like the quiet but this was too bloody loud. She walked into the town a bit more even though she had no idea what she was doing or where she was going. But if she could just find someone that knew about the poison on her papa's heart she could cure it and then he could help her figure this out. She tried to block out some of the noise but it didn't work. It was starting to make her head hurt.

"Are you alright?" someone's mouth moved and she heard the words but they felt so strange. The sound seemed to shake and waver and it sounded different.

"No. I'm not. I'm trying to find a cure for my papa but I don't know where to start and I don't know where I'm going. And it's quite loud. You sound funny for some reason too."

The seemingly kind stranger looked at Alice, confused. "I sound funny?"

"Aye, I don't know I know you're talking but it doesn't sound like talking normally does."

The stranger was baffled. "You're weird. But where are you trying to go?"

"Good, I think I like weird." Alice didn't really care or know that she should care what this stranger thought of her.

"I don't know. I'm looking for a cure for my papa. His heart was poisoned."

The stranger nodded and gave her some vauge hint that Wonderland was where that poison came from. And so she traveled through many realms, getting more and more confident with her skills as a realm hopper with each one. Evetually reaching Wonderland and earning the much despised monkier of Alice in Wonderland. And she would tell anyone that dared to called her that that she was from other places as well. And she was! She could go anywhere now that she wasn't stuck in the tower. But sometimes she still felt trapped. And alone. She never stayed anywhere long enough to get know many people. And people talking sounded strange to her. And she never knew how to handle large groups of people. She got used to it but it still felt weird sometimes. And sometimes she just wanted to go home. But she couldn't go back to the home that had held her a priosner for oh so long.


End file.
